When Dreams Die

What do you do when a vision or dream dies or fails? What do you do when a vision you have fails to get off the ground or you set a goal and don’t reach it? How do you handle the inevitable disappointments of ministry? I ask because I’m currently wrestling with those thoughts.

This past August I went on a trip to Ulu, Kenya with our mission partner 410 Bridge. It was an amazing experience. The highlight of the trip was seeing a brand-new school building Nativity had funded. It got me thinking about what could be possible if more and more parishes experienced the growth Nativity has experienced: how many more schools could be built, wells dug and how many children and families could benefit in communities around the world once parishes are Rebuilt. Kurt Kandler, the president of 410 bridge and I started talking about how to engage some of our partner parishes in a project.

Kurt was very excited about a water project in Guatemala. He got me excited. I started thinking we could do an Advent project. On the same weekend, a bunch of parishes could invite their members to give to make it happen. We have done this several times at Nativity and it is one of the most fun and most rewarding weekends of the year. It is just fun mobilizing a parish to give to a project that will make a huge impact on the lives of people in need. You really learn what Jesus means by it is better to give than to receive and that God loves a joyful giver.

I got excited about the project.

I believed that if parishes mobilized that we could provide water in a community in Guatemala, serve our partners at 410 Bridge, build unity among a group of parishes and that generosity would increase in the parishes that participated. Parishes would identify donors who were willing to give not only to the water projects but to support the ministry of the church. Oh, and the parish would feel like it was part of a movement of God.

So with this vision, I set a date with Kurt to pitch the idea to parish leaders. I made some personal phone calls and sent personal emails to parish staff and leaders. My goal had been to get ten representatives of parishes to the Zoom meeting. Unfortunately, I only succeeded in getting four. Ok, I thought. If these four parishes get on board it will form a strong core and we can try again with some of the parishes that didn’t respond. We can tell them about how the project is gaining momentum. However, one by one each parish leader that attended the meeting informed me that they didn’t think the project was right for them at this time.

Honestly, I knew the project faced headwinds and that it might be rushing it. I had faced some yellow lights of caution. I had asked God to show me if this was a green light or a red light. The inability to get anyone on board was clearly a red light.

It’s tough to face these kinds of disappointments. I think my motives were pretty pure. I wanted something for others: water for a community in Guatemala, a completed project for 410 bridge, growth in generosity and enthusiasm for parishes to know the joy of giving. I could see it so clearly but couldn’t get others to see it.

So I am trying to process this failure. What didn't I get right?

Here’s where I am at the moment:

One, I still think there is an idea here that might happen at another time. I tried to microwave this vision and dream but some visions can’t be microwaved; they need to be slow cooked. As Habakkuk 2:3 says, “The vision has its appointed time. If it delays, wait for it.” I still believe in the vision- its time just hasn’t come yet. I am going to keep praying for it.

Parishes give up on important ministries because they experience a setback and say "see it doesn’t work". Or we just can’t get people to do X. Then you find out they tried once and gave up.

Small groups, hospitality ministries, message series, stewardship weekends all work - but they do take time to work. You can’t microwave them. They have an appointed time. This doesn’t mean do nothing. It means do what you can in the present and continue to build. I am not giving up on the vision. I will do what I can now.

Second, even in failing, you learn. Failures and setbacks teach you. Even though I didn’t get the parishes on board, I learned some things to improve in future presentations. I realize that I need to better communicate the benefits to parishes. I learned that we need to educate parishes more about our Advent weekends. I learned we need to promote missions work in our Rebuilt efforts.

Don’t let your failures defeat you; instead let them teach you. If we want to succeed we can’t see failures or setbacks as defining us. In Christ, we are more than conquerors. In his name we will overcome

Rooting for you,
Tom