Is It Worth Their Time? Respecting Guests at Mass

Recently I made an appointment at a local barber to get my beard trimmed before an important event. (I try doing it myself, but often I look like I lost the fight with the razor... and then have to bring it down to a stubble....)

Along with the important event, I had to leave town the next day for a speaking engagement so my time was tight. The barber requires you make an appointment which is great - that way you don’t have to wait or wait long, right?

So I made an appointment for 5 pm. Since this place only takes cash, I had to leave work, go get cash and then go to the barber. My hope was to get to the barber, then take a 30 minute walk in the nice Fall evening and then go to a meeting at church at 6.

So I showed up at the barber on time and there were three barbers sitting around. I had signed up for the first available - but apparently none of them could help me. Then I waited and waited and waited... for 25 minutes. Finally I left. No one said anything to me. No one apologized for the wait. In fact, as I tried to redeem the time by taking a walk in the crisp fall air, I received a text that said, “Your appointment has been canceled.” When I got that, I thought: I’m done. I’m never going back there again. I’ll find another barber shop.

Wasting people's time disrespects people. It says you don’t matter.

The number one question new people ask when they come to Church is: is this worth my time, or is it a waste of my time?

To be churches that reach the lost, that grow wider, and that unchurched people will want to attend, we must respect people and not waste their time. In fact, I would bet one of the major reasons unchurched people don’t go to church is because they feel the church has wasted their time.

Below are 3 key ways we can show respect to unchurched people so they will want to come back. It’s also a way we build trust in parishioners so that they will engage more in the life of the church and invite unchurched friends and family members to come.

1. Be prepared. Everyone who has a “performance role” needs to be prepared. This begins with the homily. Homilies need to be well prepared and thought out. The more prepared the better. This is why we are such advocates of planning message series. It adds preparation to the process.
   The homilist is not the only one that needs to be prepared. Singers and musicians need to be well practiced as do the lectors. When any of these people are not prepared, it shows disrespect to new people that their time does not matter.
   
   
2. Keep it moving. This might be the biggest issue in many parishes. A value has been put on long periods of silence and watching people walk up to the ambo or across the altar. There certainly needs to be brief moments and I emphasize brief moments to transition through the Mass, but often they take too long and it just makes people feel uncomfortable. Like a good play, the Mass needs to move along.
   
   I observed a parish once where everything seemed to stop at the offering. There was no hymn or song to sing and we just kind of waited as a pad of music was played for about 7 minutes. It felt like we were just sitting there and waiting because that’s what we were doing. Keep it moving and pay attention to any time in the Mass that feels like it has stalled out.
   
   
3. Keep to your time. For most parishes, Mass should be about an hour, maybe a few minutes more. You keep to that time by planning out how long each part of the Mass takes. We use Planning Center and have input how long each segment of Mass is and how long it takes. For example we give about 2 minutes to our endnotes or announcements we make at the end of Mass. But sometimes we add a video or special announcement and that means it will be longer. We will then either cut the homily back a little or save time by reciting a Mass part rather than singing it.
   
   Often parishes go way over time by adding and adding small things to the experience that are not much on their own but make a big difference in the end. Think of your time at Mass like a budget. Our CFO Brandon likes to say, “you can do anything you want; you just can’t do everything you want.” You need to prioritize. You have time to do what you want but not everything. Be focused and intentional about how you spend the time you have and you will be showing respect to the unchurched people in your community

No one wants their time wasted - so let’s be intentional and prepared for how we use the most important hour in people’s week to connect them to Christ and move them along the discipleship path.

Rooting for you,
Tom